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Enabling dependence, or just taking care of kids?

Published Fri, 22 Nov 2024 08:12:01 GMT

Q. We pay child support and all med/dental bills, even though my husband’s ex is supposed to pay half. She says she can’t afford it. So she and my husband made a deal that she will just pay co-pays when she takes the kids to the doctor or dentist. I know she has a job. But, we are getting notifications that co-pays are not being paid, and now they are coming after us. I don’t believe she can’t afford co-pays! Isn’t there a limit to enabling her dependency on my husband? Plus, when we ask for a little extra time with the kids, she makes it very difficult. She needs to do her part. Am I wrong? What’s good ex-etiquette?A. Technically, of course not. But if she doesn’t have it, she doesn’t have it. The job you described may pay only a portion of what is needed.My first question would be, has dad talked to her about this particular aspect of non-payment? If the answer is yes and she still can’t afford even co-pays, it may be time to put your animosity aside for the kid’s sake.If yo...

Is erythritol a safe & healthy sugar substitute?

Published Fri, 22 Nov 2024 08:12:01 GMT

Dear Mayo Clinic:  A friend has a family history of diabetes and obesity. She is diligent about eating healthfully and enjoys sharing new recipes and information about food. Recently she mentioned a sugar substitute called erythritol. I’m not familiar with this product. Can you explain what it is and if it is healthy?A: Sugar is one of those ingredients that always seems to be in the news.Eating and drinking too much sugar can negatively affect one’s health.Sugar found naturally in food, such as whole fruits, is not associated with increased health issues. But added sugar has been shown to contribute to dental cavities and is associated with multiple chronic diseases such as heart disease, obesity, fatty liver disease and Type 2 diabetes.Sugar has many forms. Most people are familiar with sucrose, the white granulated sugar found most often in kitchens, and raw sugar, also called turbinado sugar, which is crystalized and light brown. Other examples of sugar include high-...

He chose kids over ex-fiance, but she wants the ring

Published Fri, 22 Nov 2024 08:12:01 GMT

Q. I dated my ex-fiancé for three years before proposing.  It was going to be my second marriage and I was concerned about being sure this time around.  I have 14-year-old twins.  She was amazing with my kids at the outset.  But once she had the engagement ring on her finger, things started to change.  She became short with the kids and even began asking me about changing my parenting time, claiming she needed me to go on her business trips with her.  She travels extensively for work and believes we need to be together more once married.  I work remotely so I can travel with her, but I also have my children half of the time, which obviously presents a problem.I ultimately chose my children.  I cannot be with someone who is bordering on mean to my kids for no reason and I will not choose her over them.  She knew what my parenting plan was well before our relationship became serious.  I asked for the ring back and she said no.  It was really expensive, and I had to finance it.  I want...

Savor the flavors, fun & sights of a crisp New England fall

Published Fri, 22 Nov 2024 08:12:01 GMT

I’m not a fan of pumpkin spice. First, it’s just not my flavor of choice. Second, it tries too hard. Pumpkin spice lattes are one thing, but face wipes, tissue paper and more? We don’t need to try that hard to make Autumn great.It’s my favor time of year. The crisp air. The colors, ever changing and making even a quick jaunt up the expressway beautiful. And yes, the flavors. Maple, apple and more; there are countless ways to savor the flavor this fall – even if you don’t love PS. Try these experiences and flavors this season.Family Fall Flavor Escape: The Mountainview GrandJust northwest of Franconia in the heart of the White Mountains, The Mountainview Grand Resort & Spa in Whitefield, NH goes full on with fall flavor and fun.Their setting is perfect for foliage season. Settle into a comfy  chair on their verandah and you’ll have – on a clear day—views of 57 surrounding peaks. With colors expected to peak around the first week of October there this year, that gives you lo...

Kevin loves to play soccer, basketball

Published Fri, 22 Nov 2024 08:12:01 GMT

Kevin is a sweet boy. He is also energetic and likes to play soccer and basketball. Kevin is known to have a healthy curiosity. He has faced a great deal of adversity, but it has not affected his endearing personality.Kevin looks forward to starting school again in the fall. He does well with the support of an IEP and has developed strong peer relationships. Kevin is currently placed with maternal kin, but they are unable to commit to permanency. He does well in the home and is an integrated member of the family.Kevin would do well with a loving and committed family of any constellation with or without other children in the home. Although unable to commit to permanency, his social worker considers his current placement a lifelong connection and interested families should be open to maintaining that connection.Can I Adopt?If you’re at least 18 years old, have a stable source of income, and room in your heart, you may be a perfect match to adopt a waiting child. Adoptive parents can b...

Senior cat’s growth shrinks before surgery

Published Fri, 22 Nov 2024 08:12:01 GMT

Dear Dr. John,Not too long ago, I noticed a substantially sized growth on my cat’s underside. I adopted her from a shelter about 13 years ago as an adult cat. She was spayed at the shelter before I got her. When my vet showed me the growth more closely, it looked like she had a large fluid filled distended nipple. The vet recommended it be removed suggesting that it could be a cancerous growth. Could it be breast cancer or something else? The weird thing is she is scheduled to have it removed next week and the overall size of the swelling in the area is much smaller. Should I still proceed with the scheduled surgery? Why would a cancerous growth suddenly shrink? I’m also inclined not to have a biopsy done since she is so old, and it costs a lot.  A.H.Dear A.H.,One can never say whether a growth is cancerous or not unless a biopsy is done. Often, veterinarians might consider doing a fine needle aspirate first in which a few cells are obtained by needle from a growth and examined to s...

TV Q&A: Will ‘Dark Winds’ blow in a 3rd season?

Published Fri, 22 Nov 2024 08:12:01 GMT

You have questions. I have some answers.Q: Is there anything in the news about a new season of “Dark Winds”? At the end of the last episode, all of the heroes are literally riding off into the sunset.A: AMC Networks recently announced plans for a third season of the drama based on the novels by Tony Hillerman, “with a target premiere date of early 2025.” One AMC executive said “there is so much storytelling yet to come.”Q: We recently watched the first season “The Firm” TV series from 2012 on Prime Video. Now we are looking for Season 2 and cannot find it.A: The drama inspired by John Grisham’s novel of the same name was canceled after a single season on NBC. Ratings were not good and the star, Josh Lucas, was miserable. In a 2012 interview with IndieWire, he said, “it was always very safe, very beige, very middle-of-the-road corporate mentality that drove it. No matter what Juliette Lewis, myself, or any of the actors, creatively did, it did not matter. In fact, our influence was t...

Successfully self-employed, but feeling isolated

Published Fri, 22 Nov 2024 08:12:01 GMT

Q. I’ve been self-employed for 8 years and have been running my own PR agency. I’m successful and it’s lucrative, but I’m really isolated. I need coworkers. On interviews can I say I’m lonely, or does that make me sound like a loser?A. First, congrats on building a successful business. That’s no easy feat! As for your isolation situation, you’re not alone (pun not intended). According to the Gallup National Health + Being Index, earlier this year 17% of Americans expressed significant loneliness. That’s equivalent to approximately 44 million Americans — that’s not insignificant.You’re taking care of yourself both professionally and personally. During interviews you can find the sweet spot as to what feels most authentic to yourself to say. Something along the lines of this would be appropriate if you’re asked why you’re exploring jobs: “I built my own PR agency that’s successful, but one import...

Editorial: We work for Herald readers

Published Fri, 22 Nov 2024 08:12:01 GMT

If you have a tip, we’ll chase it down.If you have a smart idea, send it our way.Basically, the journalists at the Boston Herald work for you. Our competitors, we’ve learned, attempt to manage the news to fit their agendas. We have one agenda: the truth!We’re taking time out today from all the noise to promise that no matter how many times the Boston Globe attempts to decode our scoops, we won’t reciprocate.We will give you the Herald’s take if a story breaks that needs your immediate attention, not knock another outlet for exposing the truth. (Yes, that word means everything to us.) We did so this past week after a 53-year-old New Hampshire man died after a fight in the stands at Gillette Stadium in the fourth quarter of the Dolphins game.An eyewitness to the altercation told us the brawling has to stop. “It’s sad and senseless,” he said. “It’s just a football game!” He told us he would grab a copy of the Herald the next day. That is all we...

CineFest Latino Boston celebrates community

Published Fri, 22 Nov 2024 08:12:01 GMT

After months of prep, the first annual CineFest Latino Boston opens Wednesday.For Founder/Executive Director Sabrina Avilés, CineFest is a place to shatter stereotypes and celebrate community. She has worked since March to book the 30 films – 15 shorts, 15 features — that comprise CineFest Latino Boston. Filmmakers from Mexico, Peru, Colombia and Brazil are represented.“It’s a lot of logistics but as a filmmaker-producer,” Avilés said, “it’s about creating a cohesive presentation. This is technically our first festival; I’d forgotten how difficult it is with planning and logistics, almost like having a baby.“In the long run, as difficult as it is, it’s so worthwhile because of the conversations that come up during the screenings.”“La Pecera,’ directed by Glorimar Marrero Sánchez, opens the festival Wednesday night at the Coolidge Corner Theatre, co-presented by Ágora Cultural Architects.“The film,” she said, “is a metaphor of the relationship between Puerto Rico and the United...